not your momma's go ask alice

While reviewing some of my considerably smarter and probably more interesting predecessor's resource guides for the new website, I happened upon this extremely potent link to Columbia University's medical-reference Q&A service Go Ask Alice!. (Not in any way affiliated to the 1971 'non-fiction' publication of the same name.)

It's a great service, manned by a tireless crew that includes medical information professionals from Columbia University, their affiliates, and interdimensional cosmic entites from a universe where compassion reigns supreme. But what elevates it from great to awesome is this particular Q&A exchange:

Dear Alice,

Know any good pick-up lines?

To which came Alice's profound response:

Dear Reader,

How 'bout we call them conversation starters? This more general term may take away negative associations that some have with being "picked up," i.e., the only reason you're saying hello to them is so that you can say goodbye an hour or two later after you've had an orgasm. If starting a conversation is your goal, you might enter into a chat, hoping simply to make a new friend or contact who could take off some of the pressure. And, since conversation starters can be used in both social and professional situations, your question and this answer can apply to more like you who've come to a site like this...

Thanks, Alice. You've made me feel bad about myself for thinking that, if I were to have received a similar question on Askaway, I would've thrown out this script:



Here's the link to the question and Alice's response in its entirety. Here's my favorite part:

It might help to watch or imagine how Brad Pitt might do it with Julia Roberts, but acting like a sex symbol could win you laughs and disdain, and no Academy Awards.